When Is She Coming Home? Will she be home for Christmas?

Hello everyone. I know it has been two months since I posted last. Boy has a lot happened in that time! This is the last post I put on her website http://www.chloesjourney.com/ to catch everyone up. Feel free to go and read entrys for the past couple of months. I am going to try and do better!

I am going to attempt to update you on everything that has been going on the past week and a half. It is gonna be long, so sit back and relax. On Friday November 21st around 6:30pm we got an email from our agency saying that we were put back into RENAP ( the birth certificate process) due to a mistake on the current birth certificate. RENAP mis printed something. We have since heard that it had to do with my name. The only thing we can find wrong is the "A" in my middle name LeiAnn was not capalitzed. Yes are you reading this correct. A simple tiny crazy little error like this has kept us from traveling to pick up our precious baby girl. Our facilatator Carla down in Guatemala dropped off our old birth certificate on that Friday Nov 21st and we still do not have one today. Yes 10 working days since she dropped it off. We had another friend who was down there at the time they found a mistake and they waited at RENAP for one hour and got a new one! But Carla tells us that they will not let her wait for one hour and get us a new one. We had to be put back in the process. We were doing great on raising the rest of the money we needed for the pickup trip. We are down to only needing $1900.00 more but then as of December 1, they added another $350.00 back on to our bill for the month of December child care!!!!! We would have already traveled by Dec 1st but due to the error on the birth certificate we did not. They had offered for us to come down and foster Chloe until we could bring her home, which is an option we have considered but honestly neither of us can afford to take off work that much. Some other adoptive families here from the US were down there but it seems like most of them have not been able to bring their children home, so there would not be anyone to room with if I choose to do this. (Several families would rent a house and each one get a room and share the house.) The hotels are too expensive to stay in for a month at a time. We are so confused on what to do. We have been told that they are trying to get the birth certificate by tthis week so that they can get the passports and DNA test done next week and then sent off. We could possibly pick up the week of Christmas if they are still giving appointments that week. We are still holding out hope but cannot plan anything for Christmas, traveling or anything until we know for sure which is driving me crazy! I am such a planner by nature. I like to know where I am going, what I am doing and when I am doing it! This whole adoption process we have just had to trust God. I know God wants her home with us, so we are trying to understand why there are still hangups with paperwork and she is still not home. It just does not make sense to us at all! We had a great Thanksgiving visiting with family in Alabama. My mom is such a great cook! I enjoyed spending time with my dad as well. My nephews are so funny! They were actually very precious and let me help them get their baths. Sometimes I am blessed to even get a quick hug. My cousin Cheryl gave Chloe some clothes and shoes from her little girl Ayla. So sweet of her. It actually meant a lot and I enjoyed putting them up in Chloe's room. My best friend Karen had checked on Ransom (our boxer dog) all weekend. Here sister and her family were in town from Indiana. Her sister went with Karen to fed Ransom one night and looked in our pantry for a scooby snack for Ransom. I guess when she looked she saw that we had NO groceries. She went to Kroger and blessed us with groceries so when we returned home, we had a roast, pizza, snacks, drinks, and much more all put away in our fridge and cabinets. This was like one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for us! I had not seen Karen's sister in over 10 years and for her to feel this in her heart to do for us was so humbling. Then on our way home, our good friends Bobby and Kim Bush called and wanted to take us to lunch on Sunday. Also another blessing! Then another friend called and wanted to buy what I am supposed to bring to this Coffee connection for our women's ministry this Saturday. We are doing an ornament exchange. She had already bought me an ornament! We also got word this week that a bill we owed had been written off for $50.00! So God is definately taking care of us right now which is good because some days the smallest thing seems overwhelming. Yesterday morning Greg went downstairs to leave for work and found bright red blood all over our carpet downstairs. Probably at least 30-40 spots the size of a tennis ball. It looked like someone had been shot in our living room floor and rolled around. Ransom (our boxer dog) was out of his cage walking around downstairs but we could not find one ounce of blood on him anywhere! Not even on the bottom of his feet. No paw prints. It was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to us. We searched his whole body. Nothing! So sign of blood coming from him at all! It looked like bright red hair color and not even like blood. We looked and were dectives all day trying our best to figure out what happened. We never could make sense of it. Ransom never acted sick one time! He was actually more hungry and hyper than normal! That morning I freaked out because Greg had to leave me with everything when we left for work so I called my friend Cheryl from church. She came over and was such a great friend and servant to me yesterday. I tend to throw up whenever I even prick my finger, and was already gagging just looking at it. She went with me to Target and we got some cleaner and she came home with me and scrubbed my floor and prayed over my house. Last night Greg and I prayed again and covered our house. We annointed the doorposts with oil and just prayed for Chloe and everything that has been going on. We felt peace after we did this. This morning we woke up and everything seemed ok. Ransom was fine and no more red blood. Greg did however loose his wedding ring somehow yesterday. He thinks it is at home. We looked and looked the house over this morning and could not find it. Please pray we find it. More than anything, for sentimental reasons. (* We did find the wedding ring! Praise God!) Well, so far that is the highlights of the past week. I will update you more when we hear anything from Chloe. Thanks for your covering. It means the world.

PS Please pray for another adoptive familiy in California that lost their child this past week three weeks before she was to come home and live with them. We are praying for you guys. Love you so much.

Love, Greg, April and Chloe

Four Days Late

Four Days Late . . . September 10, 2008 I just received this from a friend a few minutes ago. I just cried and cried as I read this. This is exactly where I am at right now waiting on the promise of Chloe and the promise that all the money will be provided. Even more than enough is what God said. Basically we are where Mary and Martha were at when Lazarus had died and they felt like Jesus was four days late. In the physical the money is already due and it looks like God is four days late and all hope is gone, but we know that God has a plan. Please continue to lift us up as God reveals the plan to us. They have already sent our bill on Monday and it is due NOW. Love you all! April Victoria Boyson: "He Has You Hidden for a Purpose - You Are His Secret Weapon!" by Victoria Boyson Sep 9, 2008 "My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place." Psalm 139:15 At the Verge of Breakthrough Have you ever felt forgotten by God? Do you feel invisible? Does God seem to be blessing everyone except you? Do your expectations of God seem to meet with cold indifference from Him? If your answer is "yes," then rejoice, because you are at the edge of a miracle! You are on the verge of a breakthrough! The door to your destiny is about to swing open! The most difficult time of any birth is the few moments right before you deliver your baby into the world. You are exhausted beyond what you can even endure...you cannot stand it anymore. You have pushed and pushed and have exhausted all your strength. You want to scream, "I can't do this...I can't!" BUT you must! It is at this moment that you must push the hardest and exert yourself the most. You are crying, "I can't," and everyone around you is yelling, "PUSH!" Then, somewhere deep inside you, strength arises! You have a determination now, where a hopeless feeling used to dwell. Now you cry from the depths of your heart, "I can," and "I will!" You are at the verge of a breakthrough and perhaps you are tired of believing, but only you can break through to your miracle. Only you can give birth to your destiny! Only you can fight through to your dream's fulfillment. Your God will give you His strength when you have none of your own. When you fall short, He will pick you up because, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:29). Hidden Miracles and Butterflies I have felt this way - I have felt forgotten by God. I wondered if the promise would ever be fulfilled - if God would ever open the door. I had been teetering on the edge of a breakthrough for so long that I began to doubt. "Would it ever really happen? Maybe God has changed His mind?" I was tired of waiting, of praying, of hoping in faith! I felt like a butterfly in a cocoon, hidden and forgotten. During that time I wrote this poem: Someday, I'll Fly... I've not been myself lately or for some time for that matter. I'm not sure who "myself" is anymore. I feel like a caterpillar inside the cocoon. I'm neither a butterfly nor a caterpillar anymore. I'm not what I used to be nor am I what I'm going to be. I cannot go back to what I was, or what was familiar to me. I can't rush forward and be what I have not yet become. It's a miserable place to be. It's much like a baby in the womb; you have to wait it out and stay where you are. I hope every day will bring the end; I know God is almost done working. I rejoice because the end is near, but still the pain increases. It's become too easy to not be anything, just a cocoon. I want to give up, but You won't let me. I'm not the caterpillar I used to be and I'm not the butterfly I know I am becoming. Becoming a butterfly is scary, painful and exhausting. I guess I don't want to remain a nothing, so I'll endure the torturou s path out of this cocoon. And I know, someday, I'll fly! Years ago, we lived in a house with dozens of trees around it. In the fall, the trees were covered with cocoons. We would walk by them all the time without taking much notice of them. A miracle was taking place before us and we paid little attention to it. But in the fall, our trees were covered with hundreds of beautiful butterflies. Our children would run through the trees and the butterflies would all take flight. It was a glorious sight to see hundreds of butterflies fill the air, sunlight reflecting off their wings. Caterpillars are ugly little things, but butterflies are gorgeous. God loves to make something beautiful out of something ugly. God loves to take the ugly things of our past that satan meant for our destruction, and turn them into a powerful weapon He can use for our construction. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 Death Gives Birth to Life God takes you through "ugly" situations only to turn you into something beautiful. The Cross looked like the end of a dream to the disciples. They expected their Messiah to come, overthrow the Romans, and establish His Kingdom on this earth. The death of Jesus looked like the end of all their dreams. Christ tried to warn the disciples of His impending death, but when He spoke of dying, Peter declared, "This shall never happen to You!" (Matthew 16:22). Christ knew that this must happen. Like a seed planted in the ground must cease to be a seed in order to become a plant, He knew that His life on earth, as it had been, must end or He could not bring forth the gift of eternal life for those who would believe in Him. "In a little while you will see Me no more, and then after a little while you will see Me, because I am going to the Father." John 16:17 His death gave birth to life! "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies'" (John 11:25). The "cocoon" that you are in right now is the "death" that will give birth to your destiny. The painful situation you are enduring right now could be the launching pad for your future. If you feel as though you are invisible, rejoice that you are. God has hidden you away to change you in secret, but soon He will pull you out like a secret weapon and show you off to the world. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven." Matthew 5:16 Your Heavenly Father will declare, "Look at what My grace has done!" The world will praise Him because they can see what He has done in you. You are His trophy! His reward! Some may argue then, that you have no right to be where God has placed you. But the voice of your accusers will not even reach your ears, because you have paid the price; you have endured and you have overcome. And "You will soar on wings like eagles" (Isaiah 40:31), and yes, you will fly! This Could Be the Day When the expected due date for each of my children neared, I would awaken each day with the expectancy that today could be the day that I would deliver this child. Each day I would think, "Today could be the day." I never thought to myself that it just could not happen today, because I knew my time was coming and that this day could be the day that I would give birth. As each day ended without seeing the birth of my baby, I would feel somewhat disappointed. But once again, another morning would come and I would arise with hope from Heaven, remembering that this day could be the day. And I was prepared to go at any time; I had my bags packed and gas in the car. Each day that you serve God and wait on His timing for your destiny's fulfillment is one day closer to its birth. As you near your time of delivery, you feel in your spirit that the time is near. Perhaps today is the day! You look around and see your Christian brothers and sisters receiving the promises of God in their lives - you are happy for them. But when is it your turn? When will your destiny come forth in the way God promised it would? Each day we must prepare our hearts to believe that, "this could be the day He fulfills His promises to me," and then suddenly He does. The longer you serve God, the deeper you will trust Him to bring the promise to pass for you. As you near the time of receiving the fulfillment of His call on your life, you can know that every day will bring you one day closer. Today could be the day you receive a great blessing from God. Today could hold the answer you have been waiting for. Wait in faith through each day as a woman waiting to give birth. God does not bring you to the time of birth just to stop the whole process. He did not bring you this far to leave you now. He will not forget you! It will happen! And remember that "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it" (Philippians 1:6). "God is not a man, that He should lie, or a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act?" Numbers 23:19 If He's promised it, He will do it! Say this with me: God will do what He has promised. He has not forgotten me, for I am constantly in His thoughts. God is waiting to fulfill His Word through me. It will happen! This could be the day! God cannot lie; He will not change His mind. I choose to believe what God has told me and not the lies of fear and doubt. He has you hidden for a purpose - you are His secret weapon! Victoria Boyson Speaking Life Ministries Email: victoria@boyson.org Permission is granted (and you are also encouraged) to reprint these articles in hard copy form, as well as sending them to your own email lists and posting them on your own websites. We ask only that you keep ElijahList website, email contact info, and author contact information intact. ElijahList Publications 310 2nd Ave SE, Albany, OR 97321 www.elijahlist.com email: info@elijahlist.net Phone 1-541-926-3250

We are FINALLY out of PGN! YIPPIE!

After many, many months of tears, prayer, paperwork, and going through every emotion you possible can go through, Chloe is officially our daughter today! We are out of PGN!!!! Praise God. We have waited so long for this day. We are honestly in shock. It was definately a "suddenly" that God has been teaching us about lately. We should travel in about 6-8 weeks if everything continues to go smooth. We are just thrilled and have jumped for joy, cried, praised God, sang and danced all today! God is faithful and He is GOOD! I will keep the website really updated the next few weeks so you can check daily and see if there are any updates!

Continue to keep us in your prayers as we prepare for the invoice we get next week of everything that is due. This will include the surprise amount of extra foster care at $350.00 per month for the last eight months that we just were informed about. We still need several more thousand, but we also know that God has a plan. All of the money will be due next week and we are believing for another "suddenly."

We cannot wait to meet Chloe and for you to meet her too!

Love, April, Greg and Chloe Holleman! (wow that has a nice tone to it!)

PLEASE LET US OUT PGN!!!!!

Well I was hoping that the next time I wrote would be to tell you that we were out of PGN but that has not happened yet. We are still waiting with little word on progress however we know that God has promised to go behind the scenes and we know He is at work even if we cannot see it right now. I tried to call down there and check on our case yesterday but they said their computers were down to call back at 3pm. So I called back and they were still down. She then told me to call back tomorrow (which is today). I called back today and same basic run around. One time they said on the second reviewer's desk, another time said the computer were down again. So how really knows besides God where we are at in the process. I try so hard to not worry about it and try to stay away from surfing the internet to find one morsel or information, but it is sooooooooo hard! I feel so helpless just sitting here in the US as she grows up without us in another country. It has really bothered me lately I guess more than ever since she is already over a year old. I thought for sure she would be home by now. We just sent her another package today. It was kind of sad because I had to send the rest of her little summer clothes knowing that unless a miracle happens it will now be fall when we get her home. I cried as I packed up her things she should be wearing here and placed them in a box to ship to her. I also included a letter to our foster family of thanks and some pictures of the family, so she can at least get use to seeing our faces. I also had to include a purse this time! haha A girl just needs her purse no matter how small she may be!
Many of you have asked how we are doing on raising the remainder of the money. Here is a rough run down of what they tell us we owe to date:

* $950.00 (foreign fees balance - raised $9050 to date due immediately after we get out of PGN)

* $2500.00 travel expense for pick up trip (includes airfare, hotel and meals)

* 2nd DNA Test $440.00 due right after we get out of PGN

* Child's Visa $390.00 due on our pickup trip

* Flu Shot $26.00 Due right before we travel for pickup

*Vaccine Shot $115.00 Due right before we travel for pickup

*Our Guatemalan Escort while we are in country for pickup $300.00 Due before we travel

* Doctor Visit $85.00 Due right before we travel for pickup

* Foster Care (Six months was included in our original foreign fees, but since it has been taking so much longer, they require the families to pay for any foster care over six months. So the amount depends on when we get to travel, but we are guessing around Ocotober, so we figured up 8 extra months of foster care at $350.00 per month. $2800.00

Rough Total of outstanding expenses: $7606.00

Post adoption expenses not included in this amount are somewhere around $1200.00 for home study visits, and for us to readopt her in the US so she will have a US birth certificate. That is for lawyer fees.

Thanks for all your prayers, words of encouragement and cards. You have no idea at this stage in the process just how a couple of words or you posting on the guest book means to us. Keep praying for us to get out of PGN and for a quick Birth Certificate. That is what determines how fast we can travel once we get out of PGN. On a good note, after we get out of PGN, Guatemala will recognize her legally as our daughter! Pray that I can be patient and wait on God's perfect timing. I get so excited, then anxious, then antsy etc. All of the emotions a person can have at this point!

Love you!

April, Greg and Chloe!

FINALLY WE HAVE PICS!

We finally have new pictures after eight LONG months of asking. Just wanted to share them with you. To view them all visit the website at www.chloesjourney.com.. Also please be in prayer for our benefit which is the coming weekend August 15th and 16th. We are believing God for big things!

Love you all!

April

More Possible Delays- Please Pray!!

I tried to write yesterday, but just could not get it done. Really rough couple of weeks since I posted last. Monday night I cried myself to sleep and then Tuesday night I could not sleep much at all. Tuesday I was just in a funk all day long! I have this thing that when I get stressed I have nervous energy BAD! I start frantically cleaning out stuff like closets, drawers anything to keep me from being still. So Tuesday night I cleaned out kitchen cabinets and the TV stand. Last week I cleaned out Chloe's closet and the bathroom drawers. I had read on another adoptive mom's blog that I have been reading that she said she might be there 8-10 more weeks. Well knowing that they are already out of PGN I freaked out, because even though they said we would get out any day now, we have yet to hear anything about it. So I knew that 8-10 more weeks would then put us in Sept or Oct. We were really thinking the end of Aug or beginning of Sept. It seems every time I sort of get a time line in my head something else changes and it is delayed. I so wish we could visit her. We still have no pictures or updates on her at all. Our agency told our lawyer that we would not send our second half of money after PGN until we got some updated pictures. They will not even tell us if they got the birthday package that we sent her. So frustrating!!!! The other mom had mentioned something about RENAP which we had never heard of. Karen my new adoptive mom friend from TX sent me an email telling me what RENAP is all about. RENAP is an acronym of Registro Nacional de las Personas or National Registry of People and is a new centralized system for creating birth certificates and such in Guatemala. In theory, it sounds good and should make things easy--it's like Vital Statistics for us here in the US where we can order a birth certificate from any State with great ease. It's been a transition process to have all of the departments/states in Guatemala convert to this system and it hasn't been smooth, so that is causing some delays in getting their birth certificates. I have met some of the best adoptive moms in the past few weeks. They have really reached out to me and understand exactly what I am going through. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement both in emails and on the phone too. I do not know what I would do without you guys and your encouragement. I cannot believe I did not find you guys before now!

Please keep the benefit in your prayers. It is August 15, 16 at our church fellowship hall. Word of Life Church, 1041 Center Point Road, Hendersonville, TN. If you have things you would like to donate for the yard sale or bake sale, give us a call at 615.479.0954.

We love you so much and thanks for the prayers. A big thank you to our church family for covering us in prayer, especially Shawn, Michelle and Cheryl. I love you guys!

Love you all!
April, Greg and Chloe
PS
*** We just got this from our lawyer Carla.
"Sorry I didn't write you.... I got the package on Friday and we gave it to her this Tuesday... I ask the foster mom to change her and send me some pictures today.. so we can send those to the family... I will be calling her again to ask for them. I am also going to request today a certification from the doctor to Scan it to you so you can have all of it. We will be out of PGN very, very soon. If the family could send the payment that would be very helpful. Thanks Carla"

The Day Before

As most of you already know, tomorrow will be Chloe's 1st Birthday. Oh how we wish we could be with her on her big day! I mailed her a package today but it will be next week before it gets there. I sent her most of the 12 months clothes and smaller shoes we had bought her. We thought for sure she would be here by now, so I hate for her to not get any good use out of them. I also sent her several hair bows that I made her! I swashed as much as I could possible put in that flat rate box! Even the man at the post office said "Looks like you have a lot in this box." The sides were slightly poking out! haha I wrote Happy Birthday in Spanish on the box. We took down Chloe's twin bed this past weekend and put up her baby bed given to us by friends at church. We are still working on her little room, but it looks adorable so far. We did get some good news Monday afternoon. Our lawyer said that we should be out of PGN any day now! Which is awesome! They said bout 4-6 weeks after you come out of PGN is when you travel! We are so excited! We really need you to be praying because they will ask for the 2nd half of the foreign fees which is $10,000 as soon as she comes out of PGN. We still need about $4200.00. Our case worker said to make sure and have the money ready when they ask for it so we will not have any more delays. We are believing for a miracle and that God is working behind the scenes to somehow help us get the rest of the money this week. If you would like to make a donation, visit the home page on her website, www.chloesjourney.com and you can make a donation through PayPal. Love you all so much! April, Greg and Chloe too!

Keep Believing With Us!

I don't really have any news on the adoption. I just wanted to let you know how grateful we are for each of you. Without all of you, this whole process would not possible! Thanks for your prayers, guidance, support, love and encouragement. We are so close now to bringing her home! Keep believing with us!

I have made some new friends from other adoptive moms. Most of them are adopting or have adopted from Guatemala! These families have really reached out to us and I am looking forward to meeting more of them. A friend suggested that I read a blog from a couple in Franklin, TN that is almost in the same time frame that we are in. The mom is actually spending the rest of the time down in Guatemala with their child. I did not even realize we could do this. I kind of wish we had planned better and I could go and be with Chloe until we bring her home. They said it is really not too expensive since you divide the expenses with other moms that want to be down there and are able too. God has just opened up doors for me to ask a lot of questions and compare time frames with these other families which has really been a comfort to us. We changed the website to honor Miss Chloe Bug for her 1st Birthday which is this month - July 17th. Check it out www.chloesjourney.com

Hugs and Love,

The Hollemans

Our Very First Blog

Hey everyone. . . . We are very new to this whole blog thing. A friend told us of other adoptive parents that were adopting from Guatemala that have a blog, so we wanted to start a blog in hopes of making some friends with other adoptive parents. We feel alone and scared going through the whole adoption process right now in Guatemala since we do not know anyone else currently adopting. We have only received 3 pictures (with one set being the birth picture) from our child in the past year and no pictures since Christmas! We were supposed to already have her but with the new birth mothers interviews, we have been delayed. They are now guesstimating around the end of September. We just found out yesterday that we did get through the birth mothers interview ok. Our little girl's name is Hannah Chloe Holleman. We call this adoption journey.. Chloe's Journey! Check out her website at www.chloesjourney.com.

Thanks for your prayers and we look forward to hearing from many of you and developing long lasting friendships!